Back in 2007 during my 1st year part-time Shiatsu study (before my bike accident), I wrote this piece for my homework which I want to share with others here.
Metal, Earth & I
Physical & Psychological Associations
In introspection, I did and still do have a strong connection and resonance with the characteristics and properties associated with the Metal & Earth elements.
I have gone through three significant life changing events, death of my father back in 1991 (which had a great impact on me), divorce and separation from my kids and redundancy (all in the same year in 2002!). My father has a strong influence on my values system especially on education, family and being honest with myself. Maybe that why I’m constantly pursuing, yearning for quality and values in my life! (metal). My divorce triggered a period of confusion, frustration & depression whereby I simply cut myself off from everything and everyone (except my mother !) & I spent past four years moving & travelling (affecting earth element) in search of ‘I’, yearning for value, for meaning of life. In fact my search for meaning of life started just after my father’s death and also when my ex- husband was diagnosed M.S. which triggered a yearning to find ‘who am I’ (metal). Also, due to the nature of my work (travelling & lots of thinking) & family demands(3 kids with absent father) left me feeling isolated, frustrated with no time for myself, disconnected with myself and others (metal).
The process of grieving (a factor affecting metal), accepting and learning to ‘let go’ took a long time and with lots of mothering from my mother (earth). Yes I am a mother but I went through a period when I called my mother up (she lives in Malaysia) and I just wept & wept (metal sounding). I also spent a lot of time (over a year ago) with her as she needed (me ‘mothering’ her; earth) my company due to her own physical injury. I went to live in China (on 2 occasions over the past 4 years) to find the spiritual connection with my roots and to find the ‘I’.
Physically, I went through a period whereby I had bowels, acne, migraine/headache (metal) & indigestion (earth) problems. I remembered I had terrible eating habits and patterns (earth) and had terrible digestion problems. I also suffered from & still have tendencies to have upper back pain, stiff neck and shoulders and something which I noticed I am prone to that is knocking and bruising myself on my limbs fairly easier due to too ‘over-thinking’ (earth) and disconnected from my environment.
Insecurity is something I’m currently having to cope with and am trying to find a balance in my life i.e. not to be too ‘over-thinking’ and to nourish myself physically and spiritually (earth) to enable me to have a life style that enables me to be the ‘I’. I am more aware of my strengths e.g. my ability to engage more effectively with others (metal) and the ability to go back to my inner strengths to let go and break with the past to move on.
Now where did I put my chocolates?! Yes I do crave for chocolates (earth) and consume chocolates everyday!
Food for though eh?